As I get closer to my dress fitting appointments I am becoming terrified and stressed. I grew up with a messed up body image and relationship to food.
My dad tried to make sure I wore baggy clothes so “I wouldn’t attract the wrong attention” and my mom and her co workers started bullying me for being fat and ugly at the ripe old age of 9.
I have never thought of myself as a beauty and even thought of pursuing weight loss surgery earlier this year. I avoid pictures, the mirror, clothes shopping, in general it just all sucks. On my worse days I have looked up an old article on reddit an ex posted of me on rhamplanet.
As I move forward to my appointments I need to keep my self care up, drinking water, eating healthy things, keeping my anxiety down, and making sure I ask for help when I need it. I will keep going to bi weekly therapy and making myself a priority.
Love and Light dear readers!