What did I think I’d be when I grew up? *TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of abuse*

For a very long time, from the age of 2 to 20, I thought I was going to become a doctor. For most of that time I specifically thought I would become a neonatologist. That is a doctor who specializes in newborns who are sick. They are the people who take care of premature babies, what I was when I was born. For many years I thought I would give back to the community by helping our smallest patients in need.

 It was not until college when I realized a few things- 

  1. College is really hard when the head of your department is retiring and the department is being reworked 
  2. College is difficult when the chemistry professor wants to flunk anyone in the pre-med track 
  3. College is very difficult when you are bouncing between two abusive “relationships” 

I use quotes because I never truly dated either man for long but they were both in my orbit for about two to three years and everytime they got too close I ended up hurt

  1. My high school was just another place that failed me along the way. I was not prepared to go to college but I had to go to leave an abusive home. 

What all this means is that I had to leave my dream but I feel like I am in a better place now. Social work has a bit of biology, research, psychology, and sociology all the fields I am interested in and I get to help everyone from the smallest to those saying goodbye to this plane of existence. 

Am I still a little sad about not becoming a doctor? A little but I think I am happier overall in my role more than I would be as a doctor. My environment much like everyone else’s environment shaped me.

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