I am a pansexual woman. That’s right, I am in a straight passing relationship but I am really a pansexual woman. I have attraction to people regardless of their gender expression. That does not change just because I am with a man.
I have dated a woman. I have dated men. I have been attracted to people of various genders. However I was not “out” until college.
Middle school is the first time I realized I had attraction to both men and women. At the time, I described myself as bisexual, even though I never dated until college.
What was coming out like?
I found myself surrounded by various kinds of people in college and surrounded by less negative influences. This is when I finally gave myself a label: BISEXUAL.
Later on I realized, gender expression did not matter. I have been attracted to every gender on the spectrum. It took breaking up with my college fiance and entering the dating world after four years to realize gender labels did not matter. All that matters to me is how honest a person is and if they are intelectual.
When I came out as pansexual it was a slow reveal to those closest to me, my friends, my adoptive family, never my blood family. They would never understand. In the past few weeks I have felt more free and supported. I have such a good support network that I now have pride flags taped to my cabinets at work. I even came out to the most avid conservative at my job with these flags and they were surprisingly non-confrontational and printed out an extra flag for my desk.
I know this all sounds like rainbows and butterflies, my story is more stumbling into my identity than it is having a light bulb moment. It was not until I left my very oppressive family that I started to bloom into the person, social worker, and friend I am. I hope to keep showing up as a decent and more well developed human being.
I hope that others have been able to find themselves and come out when it is SAFE for them.